How do you contribute to Starr Tincup excellence?

I use words like "gravitas" and "serendipitous."

What is your favorite marketing cliche?

"Eating our own dog food" is descriptive and kind of gross.

What were you doing before you came to work at ST?

I can't really talk about it except to say this: it involved a Ukrainian freighter, four jet skis, some rocket-propelled grenades, and a former Miss Universe. It was wicked awesome.

Who would win in a fight William or Bret?

I think Bret has William in terms of sheer strength, but William gets the advantage in sheer agility. Here's how it breaks down:

• Fists: Bret
• Rapiers: William
• Flintlock pistols: Bret
• Chainsaws: William
• Baseball bats: Hard to tell. Need a best-of-three format.
  
  

What's the most unusual thing you have ever tossed off the fire escape?

Dan McCarron

Is there anything about work we didn't ask but should have?...and what is your answer?

If you're ever caught sleeping at your desk, just sit up and say, "... in Jesus' name, Amen." Do that and you are golden.

What's your favorite all-time pet?

My current dog. She would totally drag me out of a burning building, but I would need to lose some weight first.

What is the stupidest thing you did in school?

My friends and I decided shoot each other with BB guns. On the plus side, my friend Patchy has a great story now.

What is your most heart-wrenching / best breakup?

I can't really talk about it except to say this: it involved a Ukrainian freighter, four jet skis, some rocket-propelled grenades, and a former Miss Universe. Let's just say it was the worst day of her life.

What song changed your life?

"You're for Me" by Buck Owens. After you hear guitar like that, nothing is ever the same.

What is your favorite movie and why?

"Rushmore" by Wes Anderson. Max Fischer is the kind of teenage boy I always tried to be but failed miserably at.

Who is your role model?

It's a mix of Chuck Klosterman, Joe Strummer and Mario Mendoza. I call him "Chuck Strumdoza."

Tell us your best celebrity encounter story

I crashed Bill Paxton's entourage at the Fort Worth International Film Festival once. "Uh, yeah ... I'm with Bill. Can I get Grey Goose in that?"