Human Capital Marketing Rockstar
It used to be an aspiration. Now it’s a job description
If you are selling software or service solutions anywhere in the employee life cycle from hire to retire – you need to work with us. Starr Tincup has helped more than 150 clients in the human capital space innovate marketing. All of our employees are industry experts and no one else can carry our jocks.
We understand the pains of the HR buyer and know how to communicate with them, whether you are selling a new talent management solution, a whiz-bang HCM-oriented social media gizmo or good ol’ human resources consulting. You do it in this world of human capital? We can market it. Turns out we kind of have a knack for this kind of thing.
Like some smart guy once said, “Business has only two functions – marketing and innovation.” We agree … and we totally have both of those nailed down.
We get it. You get it. Now let’s go kick the status quo in the junk.
Yeah, we know. Web analytics isn’t the most interesting subject in the book and it’s damn hard to spell we keep spelling it analitics which gives our therapist something else to freak us out about. Do yourself a favor and read up on what you should really be tracking.
We know, we know. It's so unbelievably basic, we must have just gotten lazy. Webforms? You'd rather read about the migration habits of the African titfly. Well there Mr. Over Confident, we've seen more opportunities and money wasted because of botched webforms than we can count. Do yourself a favor and snuggle up to the monitor for a few minutes and educate yourself.
Every time we hear an executive say “We need to get the message out – we’re smart people with thought leadership to spare,” we say great! Start a Blog, which is always followed by groaning and a minor tantrum. Suck it up! Do you want to communicate with the 21st century or not?
Steven, aside from being a wicked smart HCM thought leader (that's a bit redundant but you get the idea), gives us a well-deserved whack in the head, bringing us down from our technology high and back to basics. It's a little something called Total Realized Value (TRV for short) and it pretty much gives the finger to applying typical ROI measurements to ERP and Talent Management suites.
Believe it or not, someone not us this time, actually nominated William Tincup at one of Fort Worth's Forty Under Forty. What's even more amazing is he won. Now he parades around the office in his underwear knighting random objects he passes. Lovely.
You could learn a lot by watching John Holmes. And stop pretending you don’t get that reference. We know damn well you’ve seen his work. I bet we could find a pretty good stockpile in that box up in your attic. There is just something about that mustache. Come to think of it, video marketing is a great excuse for you to finally grow your own mustache.
Webinars are a lot more complicated than we give them credit for. Either that, or people are a lot worse at them than we realized. Either way, we've put it all down on paper (electronic paper) for you to read, internalize and pass off as your own original thoughts. Enjoy!
“But what if my competitors sneak on one of our webinars and hear all about our new product?” Waahhh, waahhh, waahhh. Shut your pie-hole and read our thought leadership piece about competition. You'll find out that you've got better things to worry about…like if that creative director gets her “creativity” from sniffing the dry-erase markers.
First of all, date rape is no laughing matter. It’s a serious, serious issue and deserves all the respect and consideration it can be afforded. Unfortunately, we’re broke. Turns out, when most people say no, they really mean yes. But hey, next time you get jammed up on the local community college campus, don’t call us. You’re on your own and you deserve the partial blindness the pepper spray caused.
K.D. over at Fistful of Talent interviews William Tincup During SHRM 2009. Watch as William creates headaches for Fistful's editors while discussing the state of the business. We think the editors gave up and just posted the video raw. Did you hear that? Raw. In Tincup fashion. So, watch at your own risk (and ours). ...
Visit our friends at Fistful of Talent
Yeah, we know, you scored 1460 on your SATs. The cool kid who everyone thought was just a trouble maker but was really a poster child for sequel to Michelle Pfeiffer's Dangerous Minds. Stand and Deliver was inspired by your childhood. Matt & Ben got the idea for Good Will Hunting based on your community college exploits. What ever. Read how to really ace the tests.
Every day we see more and more people that have been pulled and tugged so much they look like they’d make a nice belt! Here’s something to remember: if you’re 50, stop trying to look 30. A shopping spree at Forever 21 will not make that new chemical peel look any better. Websites on the other hand, sometimes just need a little touch up work. Think Demi Moore, not Mickey Rourke.
If we had a nickel for every time we had a client ask us about which list they should rent or buy we'd have exactly $5.35. Now we realize that's not a lot of money and we should have used dollars in this analogy but we think you get our point. Stop askin' and start readin'.
You wimp! You won’t even think about conducting a Customer Satisfaction Survey ‘cause you’re too scared of what you might find?!?! Nice strategy. Is the sand always that easy to bury your head in? Come on, grow a pair! You can’t even blame your usual laziness on this one. Click here to have us hold your hand.
Nearly every time we talk to a marketer, we ask them how big is your house list? 99.9% of the time, that number is about 5xs bigger than it actually is. A marketer not knowing their house lists size down to the very last person, is like a mechanic not knowing what oil he puts in his car. And if you don't know that data point, you'd be amazed at what else you're missing before you make those decisions about renting media...
Incomplete does NOT mean ineffective. In fact, if you’ve got the balls to pull one of these campaigns off, you’re gonna be joining the boss and his wife for Thanksgiving dinner… and maybe more… We’re relatively certain they’re in the “life style”.
Yep, size matters. But in this case, it's working for you instead of against you. So take a break from your self-conscious wonderings and read why trying to recreate your doctoral dissertation for that email offer is a waste of your time. And much like your thesis on the mating habits of the duckbilled platypus, no one is going to read your white paper either. 
Still upset you didn’t get the invite to happy hour at BabyDolls on Friday? Yeah, sales people can be a real pain in the ass… always closing deals and making money for the company - what assholes. But hey, you can always take our motto: if you can’t beat ‘em, manage ‘em. Then again, we always get invited to the BabyDolls happy hour. Instead of resenting the sales team, put them to good use.
Just like the image conveys, when things break, bad shit happens. If your SEO is busted you'll be lucky if a Saint Bernard can find you. The good news is, it's a hell of a lot easier to get right than digging yourself out of an avalanche.
So let us guess: you’re going to call a meeting, probably in mid December. You and your marketing staff (which has gotten considerably smaller recently) are going to sit in a Starbucks with your laptops next to all the out-of-work slack-asses that think this is their moment in life to finally write that screenplay – and from this an amazing marketing plan will evolve. Wow, even Glen Beck would be disturbed by your delusions of grandeur.
We’re not ones to advocate perfection. Shia LaBeouf was perfectly adorable until he blathered on for five minutes about how if his mother wasn’t his mother, he’d be dating her. He was trying to give the perfect answer when asked to describe his ideal woman. If had just tried to give a pretty good answer he would have stopped way ahead of disaster.
Dude - we swear to god, if you're sending those marketing emails out in Outlook we're going to come to your office and make you our own personal hand puppet. There are a lot of ways to screw up marketing but this has to be worst. Do yourself a favor and read up on the ways not to get your company servers blacklisted.
Nobody likes to be the hatchet-man. It's a messy job, people beg and plead with you and lord knows we've seen enough Dexter episodes to know it can really change you. However, if slicing and dicing is in your job description, we've got something that might help. SaaS services can help ease the memory of those departed in a down economy.
“Audit” is such a harsh word…why not say “check up” or “review”. We’ll tell you why, they’re just lame-ass re-tread ways of saying, “Man, my shit is completely FUBARed and I need someone who actually knows what the he’ll they’re doing and I need them fast.” See? Now we all know exactly what the problem is and how you’re going to fix it.
Can I tell you what's messed up about James Bond? Shaken, not stirred, will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth. You stir it with a special spoon so as not to chip the ice. James is ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it. Don’t worry, we’ll sort you out when it comes to whether it’s better with gin, vodka or both (it’s called a Vesper).
“What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name...” Laaaaaaaaame. God how we hate Shakespeare. And before you start with that “most prolific writer in history / his works are still being produced 400 years after his death” stuff, you should know that we really couldn’t give a damn. If you’ve seen one of his plays, you’ve seen them all. Kinda like all the “Work[insert abbreviation]” names running around out there...
Much like the hit Bon Jovi song, Social Disease, social media and networks are taking over faster than the Borg on a Klingon Bird of Prey warship. Freaked out? You shouldn’t be. If you’d followed our social networks you'd have known we’re all Trekkies at heart. Long live the Shat! Figure out how to use social media to your advantage - it's not just for Trekkies anymore.
OK, so a bear trap might not be the imagery you want to use when thinking of your company's lead nurturing goals - fine. We don't really care what image you conjure up so long as you're thinking about lead nurturing. Cause only a jackass thinks someone is ready to buy, just because they emailed them.
Ever scream at the top of your lungs at a rodeo? Ever wore a white Stetson after Memorial Day? Ever told your mamma that was a “dang good supper” as she got up to do the dishes? Ever get tired of doing the exact same thing everyone else around you is doing? Start by saying something new for a change. Figure out how to differentiate yourself in the market place.
John Sumser ranks and spanks the top 100 industry influencers. William gets compared to Kinky Friedman and called a wind-bag all in one interview. That's skill y'all.
Some people think it’s weird/sophomoric that we have a tape measure on our nightstand. We think those people probably have good reason for not having a tape measure on their nightstand. But hey, we don’t need to get into a measuring contest here. Why don’t you start measuring something that might actually give you something to brag about?
Just cause you’ve thrown up a couple ‘o keywords on Google Adwords doesn’t mean you’ve got an effective Search Engine Marketing strategy. Read up on the best practices here, and we won’t have to send Guido to break your fingers!
Yep, still ridin' this wave (wouldn't you?). Starr Tincup ranked 9th overall among Best Places to Work in Dallas/Fort Worth by the Dallas Morning News in 2008. We aim to be noticed again this year. We've not only survived through the recession, but our employees really do like it here.
Anyone that tells you looks don’t matter is ugly. The only exception to this rule is that you may actually be ugly and people are trying to spare your feelings. We know, that’s pretty harsh. But we deal in truths, not kind words. That’s why that logo you created on a cocktail napkin looks like shit. Again, harsh but true. Time to hire a damn expert and raise your game!
We’ve enjoyed getting mail a lot more now that we don’t make our interns open all our letters and check for a white, granular substance. We’ve also been able to unseal the mail room now and let those interns out, which after eight years, was really the right thing to do.
Does two in a row constitute a dynasty? Upon careful consideration, we’ve decided HELL YES! Turns out there’s a little more to it than a constant supply of Redbull and Funyuns. Ask us how we did it – we might even tell you.
It doesn’t take a sledgehammer to kill a fly but man we see a bunch of John Henry looking mofos swinging for the fences every day. What a waste. 90 percent of their web visitors use 5 percent of their features but hey, the president gets to tell his board that they’re leading the industry in web 2.0 features that nobody uses.
Yeah, we’re totally playing on your Enzyte fears but hey, they were able to sponsor a goddamn NASCAR team from all the self-conscious pre-launch, post launch or no-launch jackasses out there. Lose some of the anxiety for Christ’s sake. Doctors tell you that between the red meat, booze and cigarettes you’re a ticking time bomb as it is.
For some reason, known only to Kris Dunn and team, Fistful of Talent put William back on the air. All we can say is, there hasn’t been a more desperate plea for ratings since Don Imus, Dan Quayle and Howard Cosell did Dancing with the Stars. However, we’re proud to say, in this interview, William didn’t say “Fuck.” Shit, I guess that kind of negates that achievement… twice.
Seriously, what’s your excuse? Marketers that don’t have an editorial calendar are like a professional athletes without rap-sheets… they might be good, but who gives a damn. Take the time, sit down and map it out. It’s not like you’re fighting dogs or choking your coach. However, we have no problem with you drafting the editorial calendar at a strip club.
Thanks right, we wrote a book. Jealous? You should be. We’re taking it with us for our 15-year high school reunion so we can slap that guy who used to stuff us in our locker before lunch every day. Suck it Paul Crosby! How’s being captain of the football team working out for you? Now go get us another drink while we feel up your sister/date.
Man, this is where we separate the men from the boys, or for any of you third-wave feminist crybabies, women from the girl. Few people know how to execute research surveys correctly but what’s surprising is you don’t need a degree from MIT to do it. Read this and give those nerds the finger.
Coming in like a laser guided missile… guided voicemail… shit, that analogy sucks! Whatever, the key thing to remember here is it’s guided VOICEMAIL, not guided recorded message that not even a ward of the state would listen to. So do yourself a favor: read this and try not to send your voicemail campaign during normal business hours.
